Attachment theory offers a way of understanding why we form close bonds with particular people and how our experiences within these relationships profoundly affect our emotional lives, health and well-being.

John Bowlby and the Development of Attachment Theory

Attachment theory was proposed by John Bowlby (1907–1990), a British psychiatrist and psychoanalyst. He was fascinated by the bonds young children form with adults: how these relationships help children feel safe and connected, and support their development into independent, well-functioning adults.

Bowlby identified important links between deprivation in early childhood and mental health difficulties in adulthood. Researchers in developmental psychology, medical sociology and neuroscience subsequently developed his ideas and strengthened their scientific foundation.

I was fortunate to have Bowlby as my clinical supervisor and tutor for 10 years. All the books I have published are grounded in this theoretical and clinical approach.

Early Relationships and Internal Working Models

To understand our adult lives and relationships, we also need to consider our early childhood experiences. Early family life has a powerful influence on our later emotional functioning and behaviour. Exploring the connections between past and present can help us recognise our internal working models—the maps of relationships we developed unconsciously and that now shape how we relate to others, often on autopilot.

Early Trauma and Its Lasting Effects

Over the past 30 years, psychotherapists and psychiatrists have recognised early childhood trauma as a root of many difficulties in later life. Children often cannot understand the source of their suffering or put it into words, and those around them may fail to recognise the trauma.

My work is informed by trauma studies. For some people, trauma manifests in noticeable symptoms. For others, it appears as limitations they accept as inevitable, believing that nothing can change. When these limitations arise from trauma in early attachment relationships, therapy can offer a way to resolve them. Resolution means that trauma no longer controls a person’s life.

Therapy as Reflective Dialogue

By allowing time for the therapeutic process, you can expect to discover ways to change and live a more fulfilling life. I see therapy as a reflective dialogue between patient and therapist, grounded in mutual respect, empathy, consideration and integrity. This dialogue also includes practical matters, such as negotiating fees and discussing how therapy will end.

Preserving the Depth of Attachment Theory

The growing popularity of attachment theory and trauma studies has been accompanied by a proliferation of methods claiming to draw on them. Unfortunately, many oversimplify these approaches and use their principles to serve commercial interests, attracting students and patients. I believe that anyone seriously studying attachment theory and its clinical application should read Bowlby’s trilogy published under the overall title “Attachment and Loss” (1969, 1973, 1980).